3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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