thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
