Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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