she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
