I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
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There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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