Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
