Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us

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  (414): We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us http://tfl.nu/5d2p
  Replies (0) Good night (810) Bad night (1157)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.

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  (+31): No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam. http://tfl.nu/gz4d
  Replies (23) Good night (11592) Bad night (923)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?

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  (304): will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back? http://tfl.nu/g3xm
  Replies (7) Good night (2660) Bad night (955)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.

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  (512): I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time. http://tfl.nu/q10l
  Replies (3) Good night (2200) Bad night (781)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me

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  (651): I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me http://tfl.nu/y5sm
  Replies (7) Good night (1244) Bad night (1557)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...

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  (513): So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face... http://tfl.nu/mkbe
  Replies (3) Good night (1513) Bad night (817)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  peace be with you.

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  (860): you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice (1-860): peace be with you. http://tfl.nu/ffop
  Replies (3) Good night (2145) Bad night (514)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.

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  (210): It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright. http://tfl.nu/p54t
  Replies (4) Good night (1919) Bad night (759)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.

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  (509): also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight. http://tfl.nu/qnxk
  Replies (10) Good night (931) Bad night (924)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.

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  (432): she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback. http://tfl.nu/m8zb
  Replies (18) Good night (3779) Bad night (702)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.

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  (248): We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom. http://tfl.nu/ik6d
  Replies (4) Good night (1257) Bad night (664)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I chugged that bitch with a dip in.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.

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  (937): I chugged that bitch with a dip in. (614): You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you. http://tfl.nu/o45c
  Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (327)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted

  (815): View more from Illinois

  HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA

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  (815): Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted (815): HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA http://tfl.nu/meeq
  Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (248)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home

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  (775): He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home http://tfl.nu/6g10
  Replies (6) Good night (1008) Bad night (377)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far

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  (647): In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far http://tfl.nu/x45g
  Replies (8) Good night (607) Bad night (337)

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