Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....

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  (973): There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though.... http://tfl.nu/r2dr
  Replies (25) Good night (2845) Bad night (1766)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.

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  (413): You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/uoqp
  Replies (49) Good night (1459) Bad night (5078)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  this study room smells like vodka

  (310): View more from California

  the study room thinks the same about you

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  (573): this study room smells like vodka (310): the study room thinks the same about you http://tfl.nu/w62g
  Replies (16) Good night (6369) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair

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  (630): the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair http://tfl.nu/rgwc
  Replies (17) Good night (1210) Bad night (4571)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.

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  (270): It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj. http://tfl.nu/3mtz
  Replies (13) Good night (4943) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.

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  (216): Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades. http://tfl.nu/zsau
  Replies (10) Good night (3670) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be

  (325): View more from Texas

  Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets

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  (325): This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be (325): Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets http://tfl.nu/9qmi
  Replies (3) Good night (942) Bad night (1285)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct

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  (262): This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct http://tfl.nu/f86t
  Replies (6) Good night (1355) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.

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  (972): I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in. http://tfl.nu/6wlf
  Replies (16) Good night (1023) Bad night (1917)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.

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  (714): They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost. http://tfl.nu/dynq
  Replies (3) Good night (1909) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.

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  (831): I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting. http://tfl.nu/2s6l
  Replies (3) Good night (778) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?

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  (604): If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair? http://tfl.nu/cjor
  Replies (7) Good night (622) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.

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  (307): He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver. http://tfl.nu/9q9z
  Replies (10) Good night (1127) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.

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  (412): It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression. http://tfl.nu/o4mu
  Replies (3) Good night (772) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  No worries I have vodka. Its always on time

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  (541): No worries I have vodka. Its always on time http://tfl.nu/sdpy
  Replies (0) Good night (587) Bad night (255)

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