i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
