Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body. (1-253): I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate. http://tfl.nu/e4ca
  Replies (71) Good night (5632) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis" http://tfl.nu/kjwy
  Replies (12) Good night (7072) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO! http://tfl.nu/43s5
  Replies (100) Good night (1056) Bad night (22474)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!" http://tfl.nu/jokx
  Replies (9) Good night (5004) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again? http://tfl.nu/oao4
  Replies (20) Good night (1085) Bad night (7529)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  One blow job doesn not make me gay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): One blow job doesn not make me gay. http://tfl.nu/ismv
  Replies (86) Good night (2951) Bad night (8431)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success. http://tfl.nu/kq4s
  Replies (8) Good night (3119) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god" http://tfl.nu/2xo4
  Replies (10) Good night (4359) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you. http://tfl.nu/bzso
  Replies (11) Good night (3408) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator. http://tfl.nu/qsk4
  Replies (2) Good night (507) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems! http://tfl.nu/qsei
  Replies (4) Good night (817) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night. http://tfl.nu/t7tp
  Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them. http://tfl.nu/3swq
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage. http://tfl.nu/n65p
  Replies (5) Good night (588) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he? http://tfl.nu/wud6
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (264)

Randomize