Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.

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(805): Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick. http://tfl.nu/20nm

Replies (21) Good night (557) Bad night (2984)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water

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(203): Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water http://tfl.nu/s84f

Replies (24) Good night (6963) Bad night (1082)
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(971): View more from Oregon

eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them

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(971): eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them http://tfl.nu/lmi8

Replies (10) Good night (1057) Bad night (4373)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing

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(709): ..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing http://tfl.nu/8uai

Replies (6) Good night (2909) Bad night (913)
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(517): View more from Michigan

And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.

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(517): And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single. http://tfl.nu/lqam

Replies (7) Good night (1375) Bad night (3390)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?

(810): View more from Michigan

shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you

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(907): I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone? (810): shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you http://tfl.nu/u0b0

Replies (14) Good night (2473) Bad night (837)
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(510): View more from California

Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.

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(510): Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals. http://tfl.nu/vphu

Replies (16) Good night (2521) Bad night (859)
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(801): View more from Utah

The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.

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(801): The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting. http://tfl.nu/bouz

Replies (3) Good night (1060) Bad night (588)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Did I change midway through last night?

(206): View more from Washington

Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking

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(503): Did I change midway through last night? (206): Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking http://tfl.nu/rz21

Replies (2) Good night (2316) Bad night (554)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.

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(781): You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right. http://tfl.nu/fzy9

Replies (3) Good night (1020) Bad night (936)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.

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(506): Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second. http://tfl.nu/am2u

Replies (1) Good night (1347) Bad night (810)
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(727): View more from Florida

I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month

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(727): I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month http://tfl.nu/88hb

Replies (1) Good night (541) Bad night (274)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.

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(602): I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite. http://tfl.nu/08rf

Replies (5) Good night (1131) Bad night (409)
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(543): View more from

So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?

(256): View more from Alabama

Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.

(543): View more from

You are an idiot.

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(543): So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot? (256): Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot. (543): You are an idiot. http://tfl.nu/5bpj

Replies (6) Good night (1711) Bad night (398)
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(801): View more from Utah

Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.

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(801): Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie. http://tfl.nu/zza2

Replies (0) Good night (133) Bad night (380)

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