I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
