I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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