its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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