brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
