I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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