Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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