R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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