He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
