the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I don't think brook has ever known best
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im holly from the hills drunk
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
