3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
