Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
