ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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