I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
