She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
