you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
