I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
