Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think my nap took me to another dimension
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
