Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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