I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
