This girl is more easily done than said...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
