You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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