# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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