There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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