apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
