I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
