Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
