there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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