I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
