so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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