I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
