My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
