Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
