Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Randomize
