just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
