Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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