last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just want to make out with him forever
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
