no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
