Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
