My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
