No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
