Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
