we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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