I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
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I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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