And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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