Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
