I think my fart just growled at me.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
