i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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