I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The struggles of a small town man whore
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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