oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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