speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
