weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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