That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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