Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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