Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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